Please make your posting here. Thank you for your kindness.

"Zander" by Patrick Smith (05) (09/07/2008 01:34:20 EDT) I only met Zander a handful of times when he came into our classes and took everyone's attention off of Dr. Toulouse and whatever we were supposed to be doing. Who can focus on interpreting an article when an adorable kid is squirming in a chair that is way too huge for him and trying to entertain himself?

After graduating, I enjoyed following the adventures of Dr. Toulouse and Zander via Facebook newsfeed photo updates (with their great captions of quotes from the trips). My favorite status update appeared a few weeks ago when I learned that Zander had finished camp, but that now the new goal was riding to the end of every LIRR train line.

I am so sorry for your loss, Dr. Toulouse. My condolences to you and your family.

"Z." by Kayleigh Taylor (10) (09/07/2008 01:54:25 EDT) One night Zander and Chris joined Chris Guarino and me for dinner in Brooklyn. First of all, Zander's manners never wavered. He sat through the entire dinner reading his comic books, and only once asked his dad if they could get going soon. Toulouse said "No, Chap," and Z. said "Oh, alright," and returned to his comics.

When dessert came, Z. ordered sorbet, which was served in the shell of an orange. Z. took off the top of the orange and ate his sorbet. When the waiter cleared the orange top away with our plates, Zander briefly panicked because he thought he had accidentally thrown away a real dish. But, of course, the whole orange would be disposed when Z. finished his dessert.

I will always remember Zander as the most sensational eight-year old I had ever met. As we all know, he was incredibly intelligent, polite, kind, and... well, freaking adorable.

"Zander by Anthony Sylvester reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 02:27:26 EDT) I'm deeply saddened to hear of this news. Zander's trips to Fordham were always met with joy and laughter, and he will be missed.

To a man whose nature had a profound effect on me, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

-Anthony Sylvester, FCLC '08

"Zander by Brittany McGrath reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 02:28:37 EDT) I have met Zander several times and have always been impressed by his enthusiasm for public transportation, politics, and the essays he left on webteaching.org to compensate for the school day that Mummy allowed him to miss in order to accompany Dad on a field trip. I have one such memory of a fall, 2008 field trip for NYC Politics on which I had the honor of having Zander as tour guide.

We were on the Jersey Light Rail and Zander had just explained the intricacies of the system and its history to the field-trip goers. After boarding, we settled into seats on the train and Zander pulled a bag of Skittles out of his pocket. After snacking on several, he offered the Skittles to the surrounding NYC Politics students. When he came to me he asked which color I would prefer. I told him, "Give me whichever flavor you like the least, Zander. I like them all the same." After surveying the options for a moment in the palm of his hand, he finally settled on a purple Skittle and passed it to me. After eating it, I told him how delicious it was and that I had always been partial to purple. He looked at me, smiled, and told me, "I thought you would like it. It is one of my favorites too."

To me this story illustrates what a thoughtful, beautiful, and vivacious child Zander was. I know you are both so proud. I am so sorry for your loss, but sorry doesn't feel like enough. My thoughts are with you.

"Thoughts about Z. part 1" by Fiona Coen-Hunter (09) (09/07/2008 02:49:30 EDT) These were my immediate thoughts about Zander. I immediately broke down when I heard the news, probably because I am an elementary teacher in training and have a very soft spot for kids, and people in general. Especially when they are important and influential people in my life like doctor Toulouse. Here are some excerpts of my response, they are directed to Dr. Toulouse:

I used to look at the family photos you posted on facebook like they were my own, those of your wife when she was in college, and wonder how it was that you two met, all of those romantic little details. I remember one night in particular, I was bored and went through all your photos and i played out in my mind, how it unfolded, or how I imaged it had. this in itself brought me closer to your family, because one doesn't romanticize about real people like this unless they are your own, i have done this with uncles and aunts and family friends, and looking back I am happy I had the opportunity to be curious about you guys.

It was something about skittles on the new jersey path train in jersey city. How could a child be so, entertained by transit systems? And your insisting on sharing, as we all do with children of these skittles. I'll confess I wanted one but refused. I work with children every day, I'm a school teacher in training, so I always liked Zander, as the little you, he was such an extension of you. It was one of those miraculous things that people see every day, especially people who work with families and kids, people having children and producing little versions of themselves. It was too perfect, its always too perfect.

He was a child not necessarily in our lives, but because of how passionate of a person you are, in your work and in your family, I always felt connected- we all did. I feel this, deep pain.

"Thoughts about Z. part 2" by Fiona Coen-Hunter (09) (09/07/2008 02:49:57 EDT) Forgive me but, I cannot help but feel that when a child dies, we are betrayed by god. And that's how I feel, even though I was convinced that Zander and I would never cross each other's paths again, I thought of him regularly, probably because I think of children I've met and taught and how they are doing. I can't think of him anymore. I can't imagine what is to come anymore. I can only feel bitter and heartbroken, a fragment of the loss and pain I can't even contemplate. I would have suffered a thousand deaths than this tragedy on you and your family. I will never be able to communicate to you the loss that I feel, knowing that such a good friend of mine was robbed of the most precious gift life has to offer.

I read the article. Images of you screaming over his body in the rain will always be in my mind. they will pop up in my life at inopportune times, like at my wedding, or at a doctors visit, or just, randomly when I'm not thinking of anything. And then I will think of Zander for the entire afternoon.

I will go home and I will browse the Yankee stadium, the NYC field trip photos online. In that respect he lives on. He will never escape my memory, even as the drive and the passion that you have as a person, he lives in that passion. He lives in how you conduct your life and your attitude, and that what was so beautiful about your family, and praise God that will not die out Professor. I shall think and pray for your son every day, and continue my pursuit to educate children with his spirit in mind.

In loving memory of your son,
Fiona.

""The Little Professor" and his AMAZING Dad" by Catherine Juliet Ruiz (06) (09/07/2008 02:56:20 EDT) My heart hurts. I held Zander's hand in mine during our field trips. A tender touch, yet an unsettled grasp. He kept an eagle eye on his father, expressing a calm fear of losing sight of his marshmallow-headed dad. He schooled me on the MTA and PATH systems ( I STILL get lost riding the MTA even after 20 years living in NYC!). His English was far more eloquent than mine and his hair had much more volume than mine. Oh yes, he had great hair.

He was a leader. Always at the front of a group. He had an air of confidence. His mixed British-American accent was ridiculously cute. He held his father's hand tight and was never ashamed of his father's prominent fluff of bouncy white hair. Zander's big eyes reflected a curiosity for the world around him and his dad naturally satiated that curiosity with a beautiful balance between child's play and intellectual stimulation.

It was an Honor to have Zander as a guest speaker and visitor in our classes. He delighted us all with his sophistication, his ability to command a room, his childish smile, and often-times, his timid smirk.

I have to admit: I envied Zander's MAC proficiency.

There are certain things that Professor Toulouse and Zander taught me:

1. That children teach adults more than the other way around.
2. Having children is a way to revisit childhood for the second time around- and it's better the second time around.
3. Having 1 child is enough. Having 2 is like having 3. And if you have 3, well, my friends, you're in for some serious rides!

Chris is an extraordinary father and I think he finally met his match in extraordinary Zander.

Love,
Catherine

"Zander" by Dena Ela (09) (09/07/2008 03:08:35 EDT) When I think of Zander, Starburst Berries & Creme comes first to mind. It's the candy I once saw him select ever so meticulously from a deli counter. It's what I remember most vividly. His eyes surveyed each and every possibility (there were several other Starburst options alone!), then narrowed his search down to a few qualified candidates until, after a brief internal debate with himself, his face lit up with happiness upon reaching his decision.

Never to be forgotten are his amazing fulfillment of duties as Director of Field Trip Operations, his extraordinarily extensive knowledge regarding subway lines, and how much he enjoyed adventures with his dad.

And, of course, his astounding ability to gain a fan base wherever he went.

Zander will undoubtedly be forever missed. He was truly a star that could not only outshine any person in a room, but Sirius A and B on any night. I believe he is now dancing with the stars (and stunning all of them with his unwavering radiance that inspired awe in those so lucky to have met him).

"Skittles" by Catherine Juliet Ruiz (06) (09/07/2008 03:20:55 EDT) My tears come from a well of memory. Memories. Uncorrupted, vivid memories of Zander. I learned to love him for his own Spirit of Carpe Diem, but I also learned to love him as an extension of my infinite worship and admiration for you. You, Chris, are a fine example of a father, family man, professor, intellectual, individual, and Friend. You've been my friend, my mentor, my guide. You've fought with me through my struggles. Now, I share in yours.

This is a tribute to Zander through a tribute to you.

I shall stuff myself with SKITTLES this afternoon. And I'll even share.

"Zander by Kate DiGeronimo reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 07:21:32 EDT) My favorite memory of Zander is when he asked Dr. Toulouse if he could have a play date with me. I was in Dr. Toulouse's Internet and Democracy class in the spring of 2005, and Dr. Toulouse told the class about Zander's love of the subway. He talked about how they had to ride every line, and look at every station. I thought "this kids sounds cool." I have always loved anything about New York City, and one of my favorite places to go visit is the Metro Store in Grand Central, where the MTA sells various subway trade-marked items. At the time, I was carrying my books around in a red MTA messenger bag that had some subway line symbols on it. So at the end of class, I went up to Dr. Toulouse and asked him if he and Zander had visited the store. My memory is that he had said they visited one of the two store locations. The next class, Dr. Toulouse told me he had told Zander that a girl in his class also loved the subway, and Zander -in response- had asked Dr. Toulouse if he could have a play date with me. I couldn't stop laughing. Dr. Toulouse also thought it was funny. I remember his words to me were, "I told him 'You're five, she's twenty!'"

When I heard about what happened yesterday I cried. For someone so young, Zander had touched and brightened-up the lives of so many. At one point, before Dr. Toulouse was on facebook, some students of his had already created a facebook fan club group for Zander. He was a special kid, and he is already very missed. I know I will always remember Zander and how proud he made his father in everything he did.

"Glimmer In His Eye" by Michael Kaplan (07) (09/07/2008 07:22:33 EDT) Zander always had that twinkle in his eye, that special sparkle that made him want to learn more and more with each passing day. I could only imagine what his teachers felt having him as a pupil. My father works with the NYCDOT a lot and I always told him how amazed he would be if he or his buddy at the Transit Authority ever met this young boy (he must've been six at the time). He'd learn each subway line, but then that wouldn't be good enough, next would be conquering the Long Island Railroad.

There were times when he came by the classroom that he'd be more behaved than some of my peers in the class, which is a testament to how he was raised by Dr. T and his wife. Other times, he'd commandeer his father's laptop and just start typing the letters of the alphabet. Of course I noticed he was forgetting a few of them as he was typing, only to be informed that he wasn't typing the alphabet per se, but rather all the subway lines, hence the gaps in the letters.

His presence was always an enjoyable one and was a constant reminder of the joy and innocence of childhood and with his passing, W.B. Yeats writes, "the ceremony of innocence is drowned." He will truly be missed by the entire Fordham community.

"Zander" by Jennifer Daly (07) (09/07/2008 09:31:14 EDT) My favorite memory of Zander took place only a few weeks ago, when he and Dr. T met me for lunch. We were meeting so Dr. T could advise me about my career, but Zander took over the meeting from the start. He was collecting state quarters, and after asking me if I had any for him, he proceeded to show me the ones he had, telling me when they had been released. This kid had done his research. After I promised I would look out for the quarters he didn't have, Z just sat patiently and played around on the laptop while Dr. T and I talked. I still have Maine waiting for him in my desk drawer.

From the little I knew of Zander, he was an absolutely phenomenal kid. His brilliance, enthusiasm, kindness, and wisdom surpassed that of any child I have ever known. It was so apparent how much he adored you Dr. T, and my heart goes out to you. Wikipedia says Hawaii comes out on November 4th. I'll look out for it.

"Zander by Sarah Culha reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 10:33:03 EDT) Professor...I heard the horrible news and I don't know what to say expect I'm terribly sorry. I was stunned when I heard the news and immediately my mind froze and my heart fell to my feet. As a teacher alone you have taught me so much and opened up my eyes, and it is obvious through Z what an incredible father you are. I grew up with a dad that was there for me only financially, but I would have given the world to have a father like you. You are so inspiring and caring. I loved hearing stories about Zander and looking at your facebook albums with all the hysterical captions of dialog between you two. I have never met a child so bright and adorable and it was one of my greatest pleasures having that opportunity. Thank you for introducing me and all of your students to this fascinating person... and no matter how much time passes his vivacious spirit will always be remembered by all of us. Professor, my heart is in so much pain.. and I know my words aren't helping but please know that it has been one of the biggest blessings in my life to have you as my teacher and gain you as my friends. My prayers and thoughts are constantly with Zander, you, your wife, and your family.

"I asked the Lord to comfort you,
When you are feeling blue,
And when you have a tear,
He'll wipe away that too."

sincerely,
Sarah Culha

"Zander by Thomas Snyder reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 10:33:50 EDT) After reading the preceding tributes, I'm more certain the ever of how truly remarkable Zander was. I only met him once, last Fall when he was off from school on All Saints' Day and we were in Intro to Politics.

Former students of Dr. Toulouse had asked me, "Have you met Zander yet?" but I had not nor did I know what that meant. I was merely confused as to why a young boy would want to come to class on his day off.

The answer was immediately apparent. Why NOT come to class? He was a wonderfully intelligent and articulate boy who had a knack for explaining things; a cool, confident lad who shined under our attention; a mature young man who could sit for the hour, quietly munching on candy, only interrupting his father once with a request for more; a little guy who loved, more than anything, being with his dad; a monument to the way he was raised by his parents.

I left him that day with an answer of "Milky Way" to his favorite candy question, affirming my attendance, which he dutifully took. But I saw him again through the pictures, the captions, the little quirks that made him Zander.

I was stunned by the news. And then angry. And then stunned again. And, now, bitter and heartbroken. The world is much darkened by the loss of this bright, shining example of a young man. My thoughts are with you and your family, Professor.

"Zander by Michelle Speigel resposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 10:44:00 EDT) It only took being in Zander's presence for a few short moments for one to discover what a truly special and gifted child he was. Zander was intelligent, kindhearted, passionate, and clearly the pride and joy of his father.

There is no greater loss than the loss of a child. I know in my heart, however, that in his short time here, Zander was able to accomplish his purpose in life and had a profound impact on everyone he met.

My condolences to Dr. Toulouse and his family at this time- my thoughts and prayers are with you.

"Zander" by Evan Siegfried (06) (09/07/2008 10:55:00 EDT) My fondest memories of Zander were when he would come to class parties and without attempting to be, he would become the center of attention. Students were less interested in the food laying around and interacting with one another, than they were with Zander.

Any time he came to a class, whether there were a party there or not, I would be struck by how much he smiled. It was constant and one could not help but smile themselves. There was one class, where we discussing some topic or other and Professor Toulouse looked at me and asked why I was smiling. I did not want to betray that Zander had inadvertently made me smile, so I had to come up with something to cover myself, but failed.

However, the most important smile Zander made was his father's. You could talk exciting politics, dreary Negroponte, or any class material that Professor Toulouse really loved, but they never brought the kind of smile to his face.

I think it appropriate to close with a quote from President Lincoln, "I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost..."

"Zander" by Yelena Ambartsumian (10) (09/07/2008 11:41:55 EDT) Just about every student I've spoken to had the opportunity to meet Zander; this is a testament to how great of a father you were to him and the lengths to which you went to include Zander in every aspect of your life. There are very few fathers who are so close to their sons. Even Zander's last moments of life were full of child-like care-free happiness, which he got from spending time with you. I think that this is most important. A family friend's eight year old recently died of cancer. His last few months of life were full of intense suffering. Although your loss is no less tragic and devastating, Zander, at the very least, got a chance to explore the world around him and to enjoy being a kid.

Although Zander might only have remembered me as the lady in the white coat who bought him candy, I'll remember him as an extremely bright young boy who was full of happiness, endless curiosity, and love.

"Zander" by Cristina Castro (07) (09/07/2008 12:55:26 EDT) I'm heartbroken about the tragic passing of our friend Zander who despite his young age had a very deep impact on me and countless others. I met Zander in 2005 when I was a student in Dr. T's Internet and Democracy class and am very proud to have seen him develop into the person that he became. I know both of his parents were so proud of him. Their love was so beautiful. Zander would come to our class on days when he had no school and he was always such an asset to our learning as he always had so much to teach. I would look at him in wonder as he could read, write, and manage a computer an an age far younger than his peers. He truly was a person that warmed the hearts of even the biggest skeptics. Having learned so much from him, I feel very humbled to have known him. It is incredible to have to opportunity to witness the growth and development of a child. Just this week I was looking at Dr. T's FB pictures and was in awe to notice how much he had grown to look like his mother. The love, commitment, and dedication of their family serves as an example for us all, specially the most jaded of us.

Yes, I echo previous comments that testify that Zander's greatness was a refection of his dad's kindness, sensibility, generosity, and wondrous mind. There are no words that could possibly alleviate the tragedy of this situation and for that I am sorry. There are only the memories--amazing memories--and those will stay with us always. I am better for knowing him and appreciate all the valuable lessons I have learned from him and his dad. I'd truly give up anything to change this situation...I'm very sorry.

Chris, we all love you very much and grieve alongside with you.

"Zander" by Olta Bejleri (10) (09/07/2008 12:57:51 EDT) Dear Professor,

As I search for words to write, I am fully aware that there are no words wonderful enough to describe Zander.

With his backpack on and pen in hand, he walked in to Intro to Political Science and took attendence. He was seven at the time, yet could pronounce the difficult names better than the professor.

Throughout the course of the lesson, he began to ask for our favorite candy. "Twix" I said, and Zander's eyes lit up, "Oh me too," he replied.

In that hour and fifteen minutes, we got to see an extraordinary father relate to an extraordinary son.

Zander brightened up our lives just by having gotten to know him. Dr. T's relationship with Zander taught us how to cherrish the most important things in this journey we call life.

"With Great Loss, We Realize the Limits of Language" by Lindsay Nuckols (08) (09/07/2008 13:25:17 EDT) Written September 6, 2008, Updated September 7, 2008:

Professor Toulouse, I cannot even find words to say to you to convey how unbelievably sorry I am. Just today, I was at a funeral for my friend who died in California, mourning the loss of a life that was taken from the earth far too soon. I came home after the funeral to your message and my heart sank into my stomach. To learn that another unfathomable tragedy has occurred to someone I care about.... I am quite simply at a total loss for words and thoughts. The past few months have been considerably tough for me - an unusual number of people who I have known in my life have died suddenly and tragically. And throughout all of my sorrows and grief-ridden emails to you about these events, including the most recent one of my friend who died in a tragic accident his second week at law school, you constantly offered me your support and comfort. You have given me unwavering kindness and consolation when I openly questioned the fairness of life to you. And now that you are the one who is experiencing an incomprehensible form of loss, I am having a difficult time finding words to say to you that can even begin to reciprocate the consolation you have offered me.

I know that there is absolutely nothing that I can say or do to efface the pain you are experiencing. I know that condolences are never enough to truly console those who suffer such forms of loss. I know that I will never understand what it is you are experiencing. But, in spite of all these unfortunate truths that accompany grief, I also know that being with friends and family who care about you and who you care about is one of the most effective methods of celebrating the life of the person who has passed, and the lives of those who are still around. Be with your family. Be with your friends. No matter how forlorn you feel, you must always remember that you are never alone or without people who genuinely care about you. And even when you are by yourself completely, with not a single human life in your immediate presence, Z will be there with you. He is part of who you are - an extension of the great person you are - and for that reason he will live on through you and your love for him.

I'm so sorry.

"Zander by Marc Valentin reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 14:08:37 EDT) Some of us, including myself, never got to meet Zander but in a way we learned enough about him to make us feel as if we did. Your stories about him always brightened everyone's mood, and personally I was always surprised and impressed at how smart and perceptive he was for someone so young. After reading all the tributes to him, it seems as though Zander saw the world a little clearer than many of us college students do. I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through right now, and I know there is nothing any of us can say to make his passing any easier to swallow. It's easy to see that you loved Zander as much as a father can love a son, if not more. And at the end of the day, that's more than any child at any age can ask for.

"Zander Toulouse" by Sarah Makuta (09) (09/07/2008 14:09:21 EDT) "The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone." ~George Elliot

I send my deepest condolence to you and your family, Professor Toulouse....

Zander will live in our hearts forever.

-SARAH MAKUTA

"Zander by Olga Ilyaveva reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 14:09:32 EDT) There are no words to console you as parents. But you and your wife are very brave to be able to share this sorrow with others right now. This horrible news completely stunned me, and Zander and all those who loved him are in my prayers. He has been so lucky to have such wonderful parents, who raised him to be considerate and kind. He is one of the most special children I have ever met, and what happened to him puts me to tears. I know that the memories of him will live on, but it is heartbreaking to know he isn't here to fulfill his dreams and bring light to the world. I am so sorry.

"Zander by Jermiah Hernandez reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 14:10:23 EDT) The evening Intro to Politics class in fall '07 never had the chance to meet Zander in room 406; the 6pm start was too late for the little kid to stay at Fordham. Nevertheless, stories and pictures captured the diligence, endless curiosity and brightness of the "little professor." He never did the roll call for my class and ask our favorite candy after each name, but thoughts of him always elicited laughter from both Dr. Toulouse and our class.

When I heard of Zander's passing from Roxanne Garcia, I really felt terrible. This kid who used to walk the Lowenstein hallways and "conduct" classes with his dad was such a blessing to the Lincoln Center students. Dr. Toulouse, thank you so much for sharing Zander with our community. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

"Z." by Vince Azzinaro (08) (09/07/2008 14:17:59 EDT) I had heard last night around 2, I am as stunned as probably anyone. Words can't express how sorry I am for the entire Toulouse family and the Fordham family as well. We all were better for having known Zander, having spent time around him, heard stories about him. I tried to read some other posts but I didnt read much. I could barely get through the newspaper article last night. But everyone is probably saying the same things I remember about him. His precociousness, the enthusiasm he brought wherever he went and to learning in particular. That was affirmation to his professor father, and the close bond he shared with his family. Family is paramount to me personally, and Zander and his family were exactly what you would want to think of when you picture a loving family that enjoys spending time together. His zest for life, his passion, was truly an inspiration for me. When I was 15, my high community was rocked by the unexpected death of one of its recent graduates, someone beloved by the commuity. Zander's passion reminded me of him, and the most comforting words of the time were Bily Joel's- Only the good die young, but the rest of us must keep trying. Your spirit will always live on in the hearts and minds of those who loved you Z.

"Zander Will Not Go In the Bath" by Amanda Pizzuti (07) (09/07/2008 15:31:57 EDT) It was this time of year four years ago when I first met Professor Toulouse in Elections and Parties and one of the first stories I remember him telling was about how then 4 year-old Zander would go to the computer (a Mac, of course) and type "Zander will not go in the bath." My roommate Kierstin, who was also in the class, and I thought this was the funniest/cutest thing ever and would randomly say it to each other frequently.

When we finally met Zander, it was the day that we had to do our professor evaluations and I remember Zander trying to hand them out and dropping them all over the place. It was, of course, adorable. Our fascination with Zander ultimately led me to make the Facebook group "Zander Toulouse is my best friend," the first and only Facebook group I've ever created.

Although I haven't seen him in a couple of years, Zander will always hold a special place in my heart and I was deeply saddened by this tragic news yesterday evening. My thoughts and prayers are with the entire Toulouse family.

"Zander by Jason Chien reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 16:43:45 EDT) The world lost a great one yesterday. Zander was, is, and forever will be, DA MAN. I am very grateful to have met you and him. I still remember our Elections 2004 and Intro to Democracy classes when you brought him to class for our parties. Zander was an inspiration to everyone, and especially me. I remember looking at him and being amazed at how much he knew and how mature he was for a kid his age. He was taught well by his father. He would have been a fine gentleman, a great scholar and of course, a master at all things Mac.

Thinking of Zander and his potential makes me resolved to improve my own self and pursue new goals, such as learning other languages. He and his peers his age know much more than i did when I was his age, and at times I felt intimidated. Yes, Zander simply rocks.

"Zander by Amanda Potamitis reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 16:45:40 EDT) Zander, the unforgettable "little professor"

Zander was one of the most impressionable eight year-olds that I have ever encountered. He would always illuminate us with his presence on the class trips. During our excursions, he could especially be considered the "little professor," since he would record our attendance, would give us orders, and always guided us through the subways. I can recall one instance where Michelle Spiegel and I were on the Path train coming back from Hoboken, and we panicked because we did not know where to go from there. After hearing our anxious cries, Zander reassured us that we'd get home by outlining all the possible subway routes that would lead us back to Queens. From that day, I knew that Zander was an exceptional and gifted young boy. He will truly be missed, and never forgotten.

My heart is saddened by your loss. My thoughts and prayers are always with you and your family during this time of grief.

"Zander - The Best Part of NYC Politics" by David De la Fuente (10) (09/07/2008 16:50:18 EDT) I really loved our Saturday make-up trip to Jersey City and the waterfront there because Zander tagged along. He loved the trains and the transit system, and I was amazed at how well he knew it. I'm from New Jersey, and he knew the PATH system better than I did.

His presence on the field trip totally changed the dynamic of the trip, because we had a bright young boy leading us in transit, smiling, and really enjoying the whole experience. To me, that field trip was the best trip during NYC Politics last Fall. And it stands out because Zander was with us.

I will say a prayer for the whole family, and especially for Zander. Thanks, Dr. T for sharing him with us.

"Zander" by Andrew Hudson (09) (09/07/2008 16:58:52 EDT) I first met Zander my freshman year. Our Internet class was on the 11th floor, and Dr. T had taken to walking up all those flights of stairs. When Zander came in to class one day, with his backpack and hat, it was obvious that the stairs hadn't fazed him. With that image to match the name, the stories I heard about Zander made a lot of sense. He was clever, funny, and profound by turn.

It is easy to worry about how children growing up in the chaos of the twenty-first century are going to turn out, but the aplomb with which Zander handled the modern world made me think that it was all going to come out okay. He was a child any parent would be proud of. The world is a darker place without him.

"Zander" by Michael O. Begun (10) (09/07/2008 17:55:07 EDT) Even the most carefully chosen words are inadequate to do justice to this tragedy, because there is no justice to be found in it. But as you were the one who taught me that philosophy serves as a method for cleaning up the muck of life, I will endeavor to clean what I can. My apologies if this wasn't the response you wanted to read, but I imagine that none of these replies are what you would ever have wanted to read two days ago. In other words, there is no right answer to give here, only a selection to be made among the most fitting of the inadequate ones.

My thoughts are full of the despair that comes from reflection on our shared human limitations. This is our unfortunate reality, the reality of a fixed and unchangeable past, the reality of a fixed and immutable future in death. However, reality also gives us complete freedom of thought over the present moment, which we are responsible for entirely. With this responsibility, we can create the present in whichever ways our human thought allows. Though Zander's human consciousness has passed away forever, his life will persist into the present for as long as those who knew him live and choose to keep him alive in their thoughts. His brief life will remain a captivating work of art, an act of fatherly love fulfilled in the time he spent illuminating the world in the way that only the brightest of children can. It's tragic that there is no future for the consciousness of such a promising person, but it becomes the responsibility of those who are still conscious of the world to carry Zander across it in their own thoughts. As I live my life, just like Fiona, I will vow to take Zander with me. I will think about him at the milestones and photo-ops, posing alongside me and giving the sign of the horns to a world that often deserves it.

"Zander Toulouse" by Doug Ballas (08) (09/07/2008 18:22:21 EDT) About three years ago, during class registration, my friend Kate DiGeronimo suggested to me that I take Professor Toulouse for Political Economy of Globalization. In addition to the normal perks of taking a class by Dr. T, you know, he cusses, doesn't dole out term papers, nor have any finals, Kate mentioned that he brings in his clever, cute son to class for class parties. I didn't pay attention to the benefit of Zander's presence at a party at the time, because I was already dreaming about the idea of no midterms or finals. Throughout that class Professor would bring up Zander's accomplishments, and how other parents wanted to know his secret because Zander was so smart and ahead of his peers. As I recall the solution was to turn of the damned TV, spend some time with your kids and have them read! Needless to say he lived up to his reputation and was charming, funny, witty, pretty-unbelievable with his knowledge of all things subway and completely energized the class room with an air of confidence that I strive for. Just as Professor Toulouse altered my assumptions of what a class can be, so to did Zander change my assumption on the capacity of a child's intelligence, and insight.

My sincerest condolences to you and your family for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Professor, just as you were there unceasingly to support your students in whatever we needed, know that you are supported by us and we will do anything to help you out.

"Comics and Battery Park City" by Chris Guarino (10) (09/07/2008 18:33:15 EDT) The last time I saw Zander we were out to dinner, and Z. was riveted by the comics that he brought with him. I did not think anything could break his focus on the comic he was reading until his enormous bowl of pasta arrived. He was such a bright and well behaved boy. He knew more about the mass transit system than I ever could. He always was articulate and confident when he spoke, especially as director of filedtrip operations. Today I walked to Battery Park City, which is where I first met Zander, and could not help but remember the enormous smile Zander had on his face as he went down the slide just before the field trip concluded and how much he knew about New York City. He was the most precocious eight year old I have ever met. It was easy to see that his parents love and cared for him. It is horrible for something like this to happen to anyone, but it is a tragedy that it should have happened to Dr. and Mrs. Toulouse.

"Zander by Rucha Desai reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/07/2008 20:26:48 EDT) Zander knew more about the world than I did. It was slightly intimidating, but very endearing. The world was in good hands because there were still kids who cared about New York City underground, Middle Eastern warfare, and skittles.

The first time I met him, I told my mother what a brilliant boy he was. THe second time I met him, I told my mother how much he loved sugar. The combination of the two made for a very lovable child.

Zander will be in our memories always.

"Zander" by Matt Moran (08) (09/07/2008 22:52:34 EDT) While I only had the pleasure of meeting Zander once (at an NYC Politics field trip to Jersey City and the WTC), he left a mark on me for his understanding and love of cities. I have met few people with such a passion for urbanism, especially at such a young age. Zander, you will always be in my memories. My thoughts and prayers are with your parents, family and friends.

"Taking attendance" by Kevin Burke (06) (09/07/2008 22:54:42 EDT) The excuse given to us on the day that we all had to pose to take our photos for "the class photo" was it made it easier for the students to know who we were ripping on in the forum. I think we all knew that it was mainly because Dr. T. had issues remembering our names.

The day that Zander came in to hang out with the class the class photo became essential. Z. took attendance and took such glee in examining our mug shots and clicking if we were present or not. It was an activity that would have been mundane to anyone except the terminally curious. It's sad to say I only met him a few times; but every time he expressed the tenacity and desire to know more about the world around him. It was a curiosity that I found infectious and had it carry over into my life. It's easy to find comfort that while his presence was short, his effect on me is permanent.

"Professor Zander" by Jennifer Yip (11) (09/08/2008 00:23:36 EDT) To most of us who've accompanied Dr. T on field trips, the most memorable thing about Zander was his extensive knowledge of the New York City subway system. I remember from the Intro to Intl studies.. "To get back to Fordham, you can take the NQRW or BDFV, then transfer to the 1 at 42nd street and take it.." You can tell he loved to travel and explore and memorize his way around.

Another thing that struck me was his avid interest in politics, always talked of fondly by Dr. T in class. He liked to play with the Democrat/Republican interactive map in the New York Times page, and asked all sorts of brainy questions about a third world war to his father. I think when most of us were 8, we only worried about getting cooties from the opposite sex. He deserves to be called Professor Zander.

Professor Zander had this passion that's almost unseen of in an 8 year old boy. It's not merely passion for the subway system or politics--but for something a bit more profound, like world peace (okay a lot more profound). But he really seemed like he wanted to be active and inspire change, any kind of change, that is within his potential.

We're your students, Professor Z.

"The Toulouse Family" by Kayleigh Taylor (10) (09/08/2008 00:53:11 EDT) Chris once told me, "You have to meet my wife. Once you do, Zander and I will make so much more sense."

He was quite right. One afternoon I had the pleasure of meeting the Toulouse Trio on my street corner in Brooklyn. I consider myself very fortunate to have witnessed the complete dynamics of this little family. It was so easy to see how closely they were intertwined, how their lives fit together, and how much they loved each other.

Zander, in as many ways as he was an extension of his father, was quite obviously Bonnie's son. Aside from looking just like his Mom, Zander shared Bonnie's sense of discipline and her charisma.

Chris and Zander told me all about their plans to ride the LIRR this summer, to which Bonnie rolled her eyes. I said to her, "I think they need a new hobby." She laughed and replied, "No, there is far worse. At least Zander isn't wrapped up in video games." On the subject of Zander missing school, Bonnie said, "Well, all that depends on how far ahead of his class he is this year." But Chris confided to me that "Mummy" was really so adamant about Z's attendance because she didn't want him to miss out on "how to be a kid."

Z. also loved to dance, but refused to take dance lessons because he feared his peers would tease him. Bonnie and Chris proposed that he should take his lessons in Park Slope, and that he didn't need to share his secret with anyone in Cobble Hill.

Zander's parents had a way of communicating with their son that enabled him to be as joyous and well-mannered as he was. Zander, in return, brought Dr. and Mrs. Toulouse more pride and happiness in eight years than any person hopes for in a lifetime.

My thoughts will be with you both through this tragic time.

"Zander by Rida Siddiqui reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 01:01:09 EDT) I met Zander only once during our Intro to Politics class last Fall. I clearly remember thinking to myself what a wonderful, intelligent, happy child. I remember him sitting calmly (and eating candy) in class while you taught, only interrupting once. Right after class, I told all my friends about Professor Toulouse's amazing son, and I even told my parents when I got home. Just this past Friday you were talking about him and I became excited that he would be coming with us on our class trips. The way you talked about Zander showed how much you loved him, how much a part of you he was. I have never met a child like him and he will be dearly missed. There are no words that can express how I feel about this tragedy, how shocked I am still that something this horrible could happen to a great human being like you and your family. I am extremely sorry for your loss Professor.

"Zander by Sarit Ofer-Moran reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 01:01:59 EDT) We are all stunned. There are children who are adorable and then there is Zander, who shone with something that forced everyone to recognize him as truly special.

Meeting your son awed me - such a bright eyed, charismatic, warm and discerning then-seven-year-old added to the world simply by being himself.

As soon as he walked into our classroom he had all of our hearts, and throughout the class he earned the whole room's rapt attention whenever he spoke. I don't remember which candy I told him was my favorite, I just remember thinking very hard about which one to tell him, because I thought that since Z. was so diligent in polling us, he deserved the best answer I could give. When you asked me about the Mandarin Oriental, I was ecstatic about the chance to show you and Z. something new, and especially to be part of such a wonderful person's young experiences.

Everyone who spent any time at all with Zander understands that he was one-of-a-kind. We all feel this tragedy, and we'll all miss him.

"Zander by Priam Saywack reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 01:02:40 EDT) I'm so sorry to hear about Zander's death.

I remember that the day Zander visited my Poly Sci class I couldn't pay attention because I kept on staring at him. He was such a cute, fascinating little kid. I remember that when he did the roll call he pronounced my name correctly, something alot of professors can't do.

RIP

"Zander by Perla Solis reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 01:04:25 EDT) I cannot even think of any words that will help you at this time. However, reading through the different posts bring back great memories and appreciation for the young boy you and your wife raised. Zander was truly a little professor in the making, he was full of joy, knowledge, and tons of energy, very much like his father. Last fall, when he came to class I couldn't imagine how Zander knew so much and behaved so well in class, he was a great public speaker as well didn't have anything stopping him from showing who he was.

Thank you for bringing him to class that day and for constantly telling us stories about him. He will always be remembered and will always bring a smile to our faces. I will keep your family in prayer.

"Zander by Ben Contessa reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 01:05:08 EDT) My condolences to Professor Toulouse, his family and friends:

I first met Zander a couple of years ago in my NYC Politics class. He came on all of our field trips leading the way for us to follow whenever we got lost. An incredibly smart and life-loving soul should always be the last to leave us in this place we call Earth. God rest his soul, and comfort the Toulouse family. My prayers and thoughts will be with you.

Sincerely,
Ben

"In memory of our little professor!" by Anna Krutaya (06) (09/08/2008 11:50:57 EDT) As I sat in front of my computer screen for about 2 hours trying to think of what to write and agonizing over the loss of such an amazing soul, I realized that I have become a victim of my own sorrow. While I, like all the rest will miss Zander's infectious smile and love for life, I know that he will forever live in my thoughts. He will be there with me when I get lost on the train. He will be with me every time I go over the bridge or question the gender of the individuals walking in the Mermaid Parade. He will be there every time I look at a Mac and realize I still don't know as much about how to use it as he did and every time I walk into the Fordham building and remember how blessed I am to have met someone so full of life and love. My prayers go out to Dr. T and his family. Few people in this world are capable of touching people in the same way that our little professor could and for that I will be eternally grateful. Rest in peace Zander <3.

"Zander" by Stacey Trimmer (07) (09/08/2008 19:20:18 EDT) I took Elections and Parties in the fall of 2004, I was a freshman and it was my first political science class, so when I first saw Zander come into the classroom, I wondered if all my political science classes would be like this one. It was the end of the semester and we were split into groups to work on our final paper. I remember that most groups had gone to the library, but we decided to stay in the classroom (probably to keep watching Zander). Professor Toulouse had given him an orange as a snack, but then Zander came over to us and offered each of us a slice. I remember Professor Toulouse giving him a puzzled look and then asking, "Why are you giving away your entire snack?" I don't recall what Zander's exact response was, but I think it was something having to do with politeness and sharing. I didn't know what to do, but I believe my orange tasted very good.

My second favorite memory of Zander was the fall 2006 NYC Politics class and the field trip to New Jersey. He was truly the leader and shouted out all the stops. It was hard not to laugh, but also hard not to be amazed at how much he knew about the subway and Path train.

I cried when I found out the tragic news, which is a testament to how Zander, and Professor Toulouse's relationship with Zander, truly made an impact on my life. My thoughts are with you and your family Professor, I can only hope that with time the pain will begin to subside.

"Beautiful boy" by Maria Krupicz (07) (09/08/2008 19:53:50 EDT) Zander

This is may be superficial, perhaps even vain, but I continue to be struck by what a gorgeous boy Zander was. I, who have little to no mothering instinct, could not see him (or his picture) without giving a clichéd female squeal of delight, "He is SO cute!" And even if I didn't always say it out loud, I couldn't help but smiling – without even thinking about it. The smile was completely inadvertent, and therefore the best kind. That is the innate beauty and wonder of a child (although Z remains rather cuter than most children). As others have elaborated, this beauty was made all the more rich when he opened his mouth and displayed a curiosity; a vivaciousness; a happiness with life that is rare among children or adults.

While I imagine it would be easy to teeter over the edge of the abyss and into despair right now, I must tell you that I am happy about one thing: Zander loved, and was loved...and most importantly, HE KNEW IT. I think that is the best we can hope for our loved ones. You and I and all of us will always be better for knowing him – and while it may not be sufficient in this moment, there is no greater tribute than that.

"Zander by Sam Kulik reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:25:39 EDT) I only met Zander a couple of times, but it was easy to tell that he was a wonderful boy with a wonderful father. We'll always remember him. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

"Zander by Vanessa Kemp reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:26:13 EDT) My deepest condolences to the Toulouse Family. I know he was truly someone special becuase Professor Toulouse talked about him all the time, that was his little buddy. Zander was a very polite and extremely bright young boy and anyone that has met him on class trips could see that. Zander will surely be missed. R.I.P Alexander Toulouse.

"Zander by Kathryn Feeney reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:27:04 EDT) Although I only met Zander once, he immediately touched my life. I was so impressed with this little boy in my Intro to Politics class. Despite his young age, I think he was an inspiration to the whole clsass, as I know he was to me.

It is not often that you see a child with such wonder in the world today. Zander will always represent what is good in the world to me. I hope to become more like him.

May he rest in peace and know that our prayers are with him and his family.

"Zander - A great inspiration by Dawn Hemmings (Brooklyn College) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:29:33 EDT) I am so sorry for your loss. I had heard news of the tragedy as it was repeated on News 12 several times last night, but it did not click. I kept thinking, "Oh that couldn't be professor Toulouse's son"; even though I know the name 'Toulouse' isn't common in New York. It was only until I went in to Brooklyn College this morning that someone in the Sociology department broke the news to me. I was devastated.

During class, Professor Toulouse would amuse us with stories of his amazing little boy; his intellect, his mannerism, his interest in politics and overall concerns about society as a whole. I always saw Zander as someone who would grow up to make a positive change in society. This loss is such a tragedy and I am sure that the memories of Zander live on in those who got to know him whether in person, or in class and may his life be an inspiration to all. My prayers and deepest sympathy are with the family.

Dawn Hemmings
Brooklyn College

"Zander by Kristina Elchibekov reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:31:31 EDT) Words cannot even begin to describe how terribly sorry I am for your loss. It is unfortunate that something so tragic can happen to some of the greatest and most honorable of people. Although I never had the privilege to meet Zander, I enjoyed the stories of his witty remarks and sparkling personality. Reading through the messages made me realize how truly extraordinary Zander is. I say is because even though he can no longer be with us in the physical sense, he will always live on and not just in the hearts of you and your family, but in your students' and mine. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your wife in this terrible time.

"Zander by Cialinett Colon reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/09/2008 10:26:21 EDT) I met Zander about 2 or 3 years ago when I took internet and democracy with Dr.Toulouse. Every time I hear news like this I get saddened.

But this news had a particular impact on me; I could not help but cry. Zander was the sort of child who, even if you saw him once or twice, stuck in your mind because he was so full of life and curiosity. He's one of the smartest children I've met. I vividly remember that day he went to our class a couple of years back, and I was so impressed because at his age, he could actually spell out Borough Hall.

Zander was the product of innate intelligence, curiosity, and good parenting. I remember Dr. Toulouse would always tell us about Zander and show us pictures of him; the entire class was excited to meet him when he eventually came to our class. We are all fortunate to have met him.

And I hope you, Dr.Toulouse and your wife, find comfort in the fact that you were blessed with such a wonderful child.

"Z" by John Markesinis (08) (09/09/2008 17:10:02 EDT) Zander was a smart young fellow whose charisma impacted everyone he encountered, even us in the Fordham community. I first met him almost 4 years ago in one of Dr. Toulouse's classes. He must've been 4 or 5 at the time but we were all captivated by his charm. Having taken 6 classes with Dr. Toulouse, I also had the privilege of seeing Zander grow up from a little boy to an intelligent young man. In many ways, seeing him over the years and listening to his father's stories about him made him feel like a little brother to us all.

I remember one time when he was taking our class attendance, he kept whispering to his father how to pronounce our names correctly. Another time he interrupted his father mid-lecture for a refreshment, I believe, and made the whole class laugh. Field trips were always a blast when the "Director of Field Trip Operations" was there, especially when he advised us about our transportation options.

It is hard to accept the fact that a bright young man's life was cut short. However, reality sets in and you are forced to accept it, as painful as it is. Words or actions cannot describe the magnitude of this loss, nor can they compensate for it. Although we feel a sense of loss for what he could have been, we are touched by the lasting impressions he left on us all by being himself.

My deepest sympathies to the family, friends, and all those who knew Zander.

"Zander" by Cara Ochsenreiter (07) (09/09/2008 20:33:09 EDT) Everyone looked forward to the day that Prof. Toulouse would bring Zander to class each semester. Looking forward to "Zander Day" may have gotten me through Intro Political Science as a senior, and his company on our surprise excursion to New Jersey in New York City Politics was an absolute thrill. Everyone wanted to babysit. And it wasn't about the money, even for us broke college students.

I first met Zander 4 years ago, when Prof. Toulouse look him to class on evaluation day for Elections and Parties. He was in charge of writing the course number on the blackboard. I remember being amused when instead of writing "2300-001" as prof. dictated to him, he wrote out "2300 dash 001," spelling out the word dash in tiny little letters. Impressive for a four year old.

Zander lit up our classrooms, as I'm sure he did his, just by being the very smart and very charming little boy that he was. He lives on in the hearts of so many Fordham students, as I'm sure he does his family and friends. Thank you for sharing him with us. My love and condolences to you and your family, Prof T.

"Zander by Gayleem Aguiliar reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/10/2008 00:52:04 EDT) Our Intro to Political Science class was having a party. I was sitting in the front of the classroom, swiveling my chair, making endless to-do lists in my head when in walks, literally, mini-me Toulouse. Unlike most kids, this little guy did not walk with his arms strapped to his father's long legs or with the expression of annoyance visible on every child's face when meeting curious strangers. No, he was not at all like other children. "Zander" as he proudly declared in front of the classroom, led the way and stood up front with no fear or apparent discomfort. He was just charming. As he talked to us, flashing his big blue eyes and fun-loving smile, I thought to myself, "Holy shit this kid's articulate."

Of course I felt that Zander was unique on his own, yet I also thought of how amazing it was that he lived in a household where both of his parents could appreciate and fuel his capacity to realize the more noble nature of humanity. I then thought of how two strangers could fall in love and bring life into the world and then how that life could enlighten my afternoon. I undoubtedly thought to myself, "Cute kid", but it was more than that. He was definitely a Toulouse, charged with knowledge and charisma.

Dr. Toulouse was kind enough to feed us that afternoon. My theory is that all great teachers give their students treats. There's something special about sharing food; it breaks down barriers, reminds us of our simplistic humanity. I forget to share sometimes, especially when the "food" is not really food at all, but one massive cookie loaded and sprinkled with the sweet substance that dentist's love most.

Zander was walking about with one of these heavenly cookies and came close to where I was sitting. When we made eye contact, I said, "Yum! That looks delicious, I want one!" Zander could have then done what I would have done. Namely, press the cookie closer to his chest, shielding it from anyone else's lusting fingertips. Or did what other less ravenous people would have done. That is, point to the location of the cookies thereby relieving themselves from any further responsibility. Zander, however, did neither of these two things. Instead, he walked over to the cookie station, picked one up and brought it to me.

"Zander by Jennifer Logue reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/10/2008 00:53:20 EDT) I'm usually horrible with remembering people, but I've never forgotten Zander. When I look back to spring semester of sophomore year, a lot of the names and faces are a blur, but Zander's memory shines bright. Who could forget the adorable, precocious, little professor, sitting behind his dad's Mac, commanding the attention of a roomful of college kids in Dr. Toulouse's Internet and Democracy class? He was an inspiration to everyone he met without even realizing it. For such a little person, he had so much life and an incredible passion for learning. His excitement about the world around him would make even the most jaded New Yorker stop for a second, take a closer look, and appreciate.

In a word, Zander was bright. He was gifted, animated, lively, and his inner light radiated to those around him. This world can be a tough place but kids like Zander always find a reason to smile, and in turn make the rest of us smile. Even in his memory, he continues to be an inspiration. I know he inspires me.

"Zander by Elias Demopoulos reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/11/2008 01:07:48 EDT) First, I want to say that I am deeply and truly sorry for your loss.

I was unfortunate in that I never had a chance to meet Alexander in person, but I was lucky to see some of the videos his father had of him. It was toward the end of our Internet and Democracy class, when Prof. Toulouse showed us how to report to a camera using, the one and only, Zander has his reference. The little professor was standing in the middle of Times Square and reported his father's notes.

Even though I never had the privilege to meet Zander, I knew from those 2 min. clips that he was truly one of a kind. It is always tragic to hear when an angel is taken away from this earth. To the Toulouse family, I hope that you find that strength that will help you carry on. My deepest apologies.

Elias Demopoulos '08

"Zander by Jessica Mahlbacher reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/11/2008 01:09:14 EDT) Zander was such an amazing kid. I loved hearing stories about him in Professor Toulouse's class. One of my favorite stories about him was how when he was five, he went to one of the class parties, and played hangman with the students. Everyone tried to guess the word, but couldn't. No one would have ever thought that a five year old would use the word "Mesopotamia".

I also love the fact that he was enthusiastic about the electoral college. Professor Toulouse had tried to tempt his veteran students with this website about the different possible outcomes of elections because of the electoral college, but Zander was the only one whose interest was peaked.

His father once said to me that if you had a complex pattern problem, "Zander was your eight year old". It is such a tragedy that he could not remain a little longer to explore and untangle the complexities of our strange little world. My heart goes out to the whole Toulouse family, they are in my thoughts and prayers.

"Zander by Roxanne Garcia reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/13/2008 00:58:53 EDT) Professor Toulouse,

I remember saying "aww" and "he's so cute" with all the girls in the Intro to Politics Class when Zander first came through the class door. Everyone was so enamored by him each and every time he graced FCLC. Although, the sadness of his loss weighs heavily on my heart I can't help but smile as I recount how Zander made every girl's hand in the class shoot up when you asked for someone to help him wash his hands.

I think my fondest memory of Zander was on the NYC Politics field trip to NJ. Most of the class was complaining about having to take the path train and then use the light rail. But Zander had a way to bring everyone out of their negative attitudes with his smile and laughter. His voice boomed down the block as he called out for everyone to follow him as he expertly navigated the Jersey City blocks. His easy going and friendly nature was amazing to behold for someone so young. I remember how you were amazed at how easily Zander approached two young women on the light rail and naturally started a conversation with them. In a matter of seconds, one of the women gave up her seat for him. Zander just had that affect on people. He connected with people and touched the lives of everyone he met.

I am terribly heartbroken at the news of Zander's tragic passing. My heart and my prayers go out to you and your family.

Love,
Roxanne

"Zander by Casey Farrell-Jacobs" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/13/2008 00:59:49 EDT) Dr. Toulouse,

I took your Elections & Parties class in the fall of 2003 and, being one of maybe two Republicans in your class, I truly appreciated your fairness. I enjoyed your class and on-line forum so much so that years after graduating I still think about it. Being in the middle of another election, I was trying to "google" your on-line forum when I came across this tragic news.

I loved hearing stories about Zander ("Zander will not go in the bath") and I thought it was a very smart move to bring your adorable son to professor evaluations. It was clear for all to see that he possessed such intellectual curiosity at such a young age- it was refreshing and inspiring for me to see his genuine love of learning.

I wanted to let you know that I will think of you and your family often and you will be in my prayers. I am thankful that I was able to take your class and meet you and your son. I am very sorry for your loss.

Sincerely,
Casey

"Zander by Karen Phillips (Brooklyn College) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/13/2008 01:00:31 EDT) Dear Prof. Toulouse, I am deeply saddened tonight having heard about your precious son snatched away. I am devastated.

I may not have the right words to say to you at this difficult time but I must say it was a great privilege and blessing having to meet Zander and also for my kids to share those few moments in his life (they are asleep but I am sure they will be shocked to hear).

Zander will always be remembered as a bright, energetic, promising and aspiring leader. You were a good father who took the time to include him in everything even taking him to your job. Zander had a short but fulfilled life. A life that was full of fun. You parents have given him that gift.
Thanks for sharing him with us.

May GOD bless you and be your source of comfort. My prayers go out for you and your family in this time of great lost.

"Zander by Karina Krzelj reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (10/12/2008 23:43:29 EDT) I am truly sorry that you lost such an amazing and special son. I could not even imagine what this difficult time might be like for you and your family.

Alexander was not only your son but your best friend as well, a boy so intelligent and vibrant that only you could have raised him. That special bond will be with both of you forever.

"Zander by Lindsay Novis reposted by" by Chris Toulouse (84) (10/13/2008 00:02:06 EDT) I met Zander when he conducted the two field trips for the Intro to International Studies class. I still find it hard to believe he was only 8 years-old at the time. He talked and acted wit the maturity of a person at least twice his age. I remember I was really astonished. The only thing that gave a hint to his actual age was the candy he seemed to constantly be carrying/eating. At the end of the field trip he eve gave us directions home, offering several different routes, and in the end choosing the one most appropriate for the time of day.

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."

Please email us your story and I will post it here. Thank you for your kindness.

"Zander by Michelle Hamilton (Maeve's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 01:09:45 EDT) I first met Zander when he was 8 weeks old, my daughter 6 weeks old. They liked each other straight away and 8 years later they grew to love each other as only 8 year olds can.

Today, to take our mind off things, we took at trip to the zoo which reminded me of another trip- almost 6 years to the day - the day before my son was born. Zander looked at all the animals and didn't just comment on them but recited whole books about them. He was just over 2 at the time. Zander never stopped amazing us with his sharp mind. However his friends from school have been saying something else too - Zander is the nicest kid we know.

He will be missed.

"Zander by Rachel Obermann (Lilly's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 09:29:30 EDT) Our family is deeply saddened by the loss of Zander, a beauty of a boy with the intelligence and manners of a man. Zander's parents, Bonnie and Chris, have always been the model of devotion, allowing Zander to develop his own hobbies and interests in a way that was inspiring. Ten days ago, I bumped into Zander and Chris on the LIRR--they were riding to the end of the West Hempstead line, Zander with a book in his lap, voraciously reading, but also putting aside his book to share with me and my daughters his excitement about their journey, which they were taking because trains were Zander's special passion. The beautiful thing about Chris and Zander's relationship was that they just enjoyed being together, and that they were able to be together so much of the time. Bonnie could easily have taken it easy, with a husband and dad like that around, but absolutely not: she was too busy enjoying every moment of her son. She was a mom who had the spirit and the love to keep up with Zander's tremendous intellectual energy and curiosity. Our daughter Lily was in Zander's class for pre-k, k, and 1st grade and both Zander and Bonnie were pivotal in much of the classroom experience during those years. Not only was Bonnie always the class mom, but she would come in and do art projects with the kids. She was always available, and always involved, lovingly and without calling attention to herself. I want to close with something sweet that Chris shared about Zander when we had the pleasure of seeing them on their train excursion: he said that Zander had decided to collect the quarters from every state over the summer. "Good," Chris said that he and Bonnie had responded; "this will teach him perseverence and patience." Then Chris laughingly admitted that it was Zander who had, once again, taught them something about himself: it had taken him only 6 days to find all 50. That's the kind of kid Zander was, impressive, energetic, always smiling and full of his current plan. Boy do his parents have much to be proud of, and a profoundly beautiful boy, who loved them dearly, to miss.

"Zander by Marion Gropen (Miranda's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:11:19 EDT) Zander was a wonderful inspiration with his sense of wonder and his openness to life. He was always the sweetest kid in the room, and a perfect playdate for my daughter, Miranda. Mondays will never be the same without him.

Bonnie and Chris, we loved your boy, and we love you. Words can't convey our sense of the loss the world has suffered, or our desire to console with and comfort you.

"Zander by Tonia Steed (Sophie's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:12:07 EDT) What an extraordinary boy Zander was--his profound intelligence, whirring curiosity, fundamental sweetness, and dazzling smile (always with a tooth or two missing) generated their own electricity. This corner of the world is darker without him. We love and miss you, Zander.--Tonia, Vic, and Sophia

"Zander by Jennifer Epstein (Katie's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:12:57 EDT) Michael, Katie and I first met Zander during his and Katie's kindergarten year at PS 29. His presence in that extraordinary class community (and that of his extraordinary parents) was in part of what made our introduction to PS 29 so special. It was an incredible year for all of us, and then--as now--Zander stood out as an astonishingly vivid, smart little boy. I remember listening in awe to him recite--without so much as a blink of hesitation--the fastest subway route to pretty much any 5-borough destination you could name him (and given that I'm someone who perpetually ends up going the wrong way, usually on the express, this was doubly astounding). His stories and pictures during class "publishing parties" were equally brilliant.

But what we will remember most of all is his absolute and obvious delight in his friends and the life around him. Like the Toulouse/Steinsnyders, we were frequent attendees to the "Music in Cobble Hill Park" series these past few summers. One of the images that will always remain for me is that of Zander, breaking into a spontaneous, exuberant and surprisingly complex (!) dance to the band's musical stylings. Later we watched him--with every bit as much confidence and joy--take up the microphone and croon to the crowd. At that point, I leaned over to Bonnie and said, "You have a star there in the making." And that's precisely what he was--a complete star.

The Epsteins celebrate the time that Zander lit up our community. We will miss him deeply; not only on every raucous summertime night in the park, but every day of the year. Our hearts are with you both. xx

"Zander by Lori Hiller (PS29) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:13:44 EDT) My son Sam a 9year old 4th grader at PS 29 wanted you to know that in Zander's honor he did not play basketball at recess today, even though he wanted to, because he knew Zander liked to play at lunch time. Sam said that he got this idea from when the Pittsburgh Pirates cancelled the first 2 games of their season after Martin Luthur King Jr, was killed. This was his tribute to Zander.

I knew Zander from Pre-K when I was the parent coordinator and he was a special boy-may your many wonderful memories be of comfort to you during this sad time.

Lori & Sam Hiller and Family

"Zander by Masako Hartley (Conor's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/08/2008 23:24:11 EDT) I am so sorry for what happened to Zander. And I am sorry that I could not send you any message until now. The memory of Zander at the schoolyard when you picked up Zander and Conor on Friday and at Union st. after karate as we talked about our plan for 'the Monday&Friday thing' was still too fresh...I still remembered his beautiful smile that day so vividly and the images of Zander & Conor coming into the gym a little late and hurrying off to change into their Gi and running to the class. It was too painful for me to admit the terrible reality. You should know how excited Conor was about being in the same class with Zander again. He talked about it all summer. Now he is so sad and says " I don't like being in the class with no Zander in it." He also said, " I wish I had a power to rewind the time." He misses Zander so much. We all do.

"Zander by Claire Wynters reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/09/2008 01:21:12 EDT) I want it to rain so the whole planet is crying with me -- nothing less seems adequate. My days are flat and grey and nothing can touch me. I am numb to the words of friends and family, numb to face a life without Zander in it. Why did this happen? Even if someone, anyone, could give me the answer, I would be unsatisfied, angry at the injustice, spiteful of the reason. A black darker than any void or starless night envelops me.

I want to turn back time, for him, for me. All the way back before all this tragedy, to when I first met him, 8 months in, round as a basketball, on the world's thinnest pregnant woman I had ever known. I came a long way to see that belly. Bonnie said, "Why didn't you wait? You could have met him in person." But I wanted to know him from the very start, wanted to see him from the glimmer in her eyes, her unsurety, her trepidation -- all of it, in it's fullest. Let's start again, this time without the tragic ending.

I saw him after he showed up, only a few times, though. So many have said the same thing -- "only a few times", "only once". I was not brave enough to take a dip into the gene pool. All those responsibilities; it's the biggest risk with the biggest reward. I was a coward and Bonnie was going to be a mother. And so we are the lucky ones -- we all are blessed to be known by this little boy, bigger than we are, better than we can ever hope to be. An example to try to follow. Our sturdy moral compass. 8 years old.

After the first time I met him, I wished Bonnie and Chris had been MY parents.

After the second time I saw him, I wanted to marry him.

After the third time I saw him, I wanted to kidnap him and take him home with me, on the train, -- he was the child I would have wanted but was never going to have.

So now, instead, my inner child -- the 8-yr old still living in me -- misses him terribly. I want to come over and play with sophisticated toys and talk of grown-up concepts that 8-year olds aren't supposed to be thinking about. I want to make a deal with God and bring him back, just a moment - I never got to tell him what my favorite candy is.

And here we are. The pain we feel now is equal only to the joy we have felt all along with Z. How will we live with it? You can't heal a rift this deep. You can't make the scar of this nightmare disappear. Maybe we shouldn't want to. I want to feel his spirit and presence. Even when I was not in New York, visiting in person with him, he was with me. On my desk, in the form of a plastic mug, his face peering back at me across my desk. He made that gift for me. Thought of ME. I am humbled by his being, his stature, his grace, his self-awareness. 8 years old.

I will think of his graduation from high school, his acceptance at MIT, his triumphs, his foibles, his girlfriends, his wife. His son. It will never be a lament about who he was -- it will ever be who he would have been. And I will weep endlessly for the promise of what might have been. Some of our hope went with him.

Now I know that not a day will go by without his distinct echo reverberating in my heart, my mind. To be touched by a soul as special as his, is a gift -- I will always wonder how worthy I was of it. Parents hug your kids tight. Right now.

"God's finger touched him and he slept." -Lord Alfred Tennyson

Claire Wynters
Bonnie's friend since 8th grade
Chris friend since he married Bonnie
Zander's friend - for life and beyond

"Zander by Jordan Schapiro (piano teacher) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/09/2008 10:23:55 EDT) Dear Bonnie and Chris -

I am terribly sorry for the loss of such a talented and gifted and lovable boy. I have had such a hard time accepting this tragic event, but I just wanted to let you know that I will always remember your son as my most rewarding teaching experience ever. When I first met you guys in pre-K subbing for Ms. Paquette, I knew right away that you all were a family I really wanted to get to know. From then, I truly hoped I would be able to work with Zander in a more direct manner. When we began piano lessons in 1st grade, I was so happy to finally have a way to work with such a unique mind and adorable boy. And in the 2 years we worked together I became so intrigued by your son and inspired in a way I had never expected from teaching. We challenged each other and both taught one another more about ourselves. Thank you so much for that experience.

And the best part about it is that I have felt part of your family and experienced the same love that Zander received. It is no surprise that Zander was such a loving and warm soul - The two of you have huge hearts and have shown me what caring individuals you are. Going to your home for lessons always felt like going home in a way. I could feel sick prior to the lesson, but I knew I'd feel a whole lot better after the care you provided. I've felt such a bond to your family and it is very difficult for me to know that you're suffering deeply. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I am always here for anything you need. In addition to having been lucky enough to be Zander's piano teacher, I will always be, forever, your good friend.

Love,

Jordan

"Zander by Audra Tsanos (music teacher) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/10/2008 00:45:35 EDT) It is impossible to understand a loss of such a pure, innocent spirit as Zander. He was a joyous little guy who gave his incredible smile to EVERYONE! I have the honor of being Zander's first music teacher and got to be a part of the family's life for several years right from the beginning.

What I remember most about Zander was his enthusiasm and his smile. He was always so ready to be involved in whatever activity I was presenting - singing, dancing, even cleaning up the instruments and being my little helper. He was always smiling, he was always so happy, and I really believe that was because he had such loving parents! It is rare to see parents so involved and parenting with such endless love and patience, as Bonnie and Chris. They both are such TRUE people; true to themselves and confident to always be who they are. They role modeled that for Zander and allowed him to do the same. What a gift!

"Each of us is here to discover our true Self...
that essentially we are spiritual beings
who have taken manifestation in physical form...
that we're not human beings that have occasional spiritual experiences
that we're spiritual beings that have occasional human experiences. "...
Deepak Chopra

I believe that Zander had an amazing human experience here with Bonnie & Chris and his community of friends and family. What a lucky guy!

He will be missed.

All my love -
Audra Tsanos

"Zander by Medina Khalil (Jack's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/10/2008 00:46:22 EDT) Zander was one of the brightest, sweetest and most genuine persons I have known. I remember him saying "well actually..." so many times in class because he just knew the answer. His sweetness makes my heart ache. I loved him.

"A poem by Zander Toulouse posted by Beth Bugler (Grace's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/10/2008 00:47:36 EDT) A poem by Zander Toulouse, 2007

There's No One Like Me

Nobody's like me
For all my special reasons
For example: A board game
To me there is nothing like a nice board game.
I always like my bath water hot.
I always like trains.
I LOVE to dance a lot.
Blue is my favorite color.
I am the pride of the world.
I know I can be a problem.
But I am very useful sometimes.

From a parent who had the opportunity and pleasure of reading such small pieces of wisdom and insight from such a young soul- I will miss you and your poetry. To Bonnie - you are such a bright being - everyone, please just look at her paintings - wonderful, light-filled celebrations of life. My heart goes out to you and Chris- just know, your wonderfulness as parents was an inspiration to us all.

Beth Bugler (Grace's mom)

"Zander by Adrien, Debbie & Samantha Love reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/10/2008 00:48:28 EDT) We only met Zander one time, on a visit to New York, but the impression he left on hearts was one that will last a lifetime. He was one of the best parts of our visit, and he and my husband began discussions about a train system for our area over dinner. He absolutely amazed us with his expertise on the train system, and I have no doubt he could designed a system for Orlando.

He struck me as a loving and highly intelligent boy who would leave his mark on all who had the fortune to know him. He will be greatly missed, by all. I pray that his family finds peace, and knows that their son is currently planning out the train system in heaven with plans on their trips together when they are re-united.

Love,
Adrien, Debbie, & Samantha Love

"Zander by Chris Twomey reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/10/2008 00:49:32 EDT) Little Zander was an amazing person. I remember when I first met him, just after he spent quite a bit of time residing comfortably inside of Bonnie - it was a thing of wonder! He would show up at our Artists Circle group, and then again, at art exhibitions. It seemed that he was everywhere that Bonnie and Chris were. Then, he began to show up in everything that Bonnie painted. He would be the child who was painted in the stroller, or the little boy who was painted poking at the flowers, or just a wide-eyed mischevious addition to the painted landscape. When he showed up in his later years, say, about 6, we would see him in real form and would have playdates. One time, my daughter Galen and I met Bonnie and Chris for a wild romp through the NY Hall of Science. The two kids must have played with every single movable item they had on the menu! What a bunch of sheer electrons those two were. Bonnie still seemed to manage to include this force of nature in her paintings -!

A testimony to her loving devotion, creative talent, and especially her gained experience in child wrangling.

Zander was a person of substance; intelligent, and spirited, much like his parents. Zander will live on in my heart, my daughters heart, and the hearts of all those who knew him.

"Zander by Michelle Begin (Harrison's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/11/2008 01:02:15 EDT) Dear Bonnie and Chris,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you. And our hearts, as are those of all who knew Zander, ache. Zander was truly a special, special boy. He was probably the smartest, most unique child I have ever encountered. He seemed to be wise beyond his years - an old soul. And you both were such wonderful parents to Zander - always so caring, patient, enthusiastic, loving, etc. It was evident to all how much you all loved each other. Zander truly was lucky to have had the both of you for his parents. And you both are lucky to have been blessed with such a special boy. He will always be with you.

Harrison says that Zander was always one of his favorite friends, as well as the nicest boy he knows. He wishes he had more time with him.

The service today was beautiful. We felt honored to have been a small part of Zander's short, but special life. He will be greatly missed by many. Our hearts are with you.

Michelle, Kevin & Harrison Bergin

"Zander by Patricia Watson (PS29) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/11/2008 01:05:13 EDT) I knew Zander from PS 29. He was a wonderful child and I used to talk to him sometimes. He absolutely love everything about the trains. I will miss him greatly and may he rest in peace in heaven now. May God comfort his family and friends and everyone who knew Zander. We were so lucky to have precious Zander in our lives at PS 29 for 4 years and his parents 8 years. Zanders memories will live on in our hearts and he will never be forgotten. "The Little Professor" is smiling down on us and resting in Gods arms now.

"Zander by his cousins reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/13/2008 00:51:59 EDT) Cousin Ariel: I remember helping Zander to swim and teaching him to play basketball. Zander was so unique. We love Zander.

Cousin Evan: I remember at the family get togethers we would gather around and Zander would sing Yellow Submarine and tell me about the famous subways. There will always be an empty seat at MomMom and Pop's house.

Cousin Stefan: I remember when we played football with Zander and he didn't know how to play and when he caught the ball he ran the wrong way...Zander was the nicest, friendliest and most confident kid ever.

Cousin Noah: I remember when we taught Zander how to play football and when he used to play piano on the holidays, especially Yellow Submarine.

Love,

Ariel, Stefan, Evan and Noah

"Zander by Tina Manis (Armen's Mom) by reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/13/2008 00:55:28 EDT) A Thread

Some believe that a thread connects us all
The thread is continuous; sometimes thick, sometimes thin but never broken.
Some of the thread is made from what we give others and some is made by what others give us.

All of our lives are better for what Zander gave; he passed it to our children and they passed it to us.
Our children gave to him and he gave to you; we are all connected, we are all a community and that is the thread that holds us all together.
We will always be here, so will you and so will Zander, in our hearts and minds.
Always.

We are deeply saddened by your loss, please know, should you need anything we will be there.

"Zander by Melissa Rodriguez (Spanish teacher) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/13/2008 00:57:15 EDT) to Zander's parents:

there are NO words to express my sadness at your loss... I can't even comprehend the reality of this. Bonnie, i am here for you, WHATEVER YOU NEED. you were a devoted and perfectly beautiful mom. I couldn't admire you more. I will miss Zander immensely. I am in tears. God bless.

"Zander by Tracy & Scott Cantone (Elijah) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/13/2008 00:58:16 EDT) We first had the pleasure of meeting Zander along with his incredible parents when our son Elijah began pre-K with him. We became friends and fell in love with this sweet, funny and brilliant little guy. Since then, Zander and Elijah had every class together with the exception of 2nd grade. We were so excited that they were in the same class again this year; not only would this afford us the opportunity to spend more time together, but we also got Bonnie back as the amazing class Mom. Zander was such a big part of our family. Elijah and Zander had their first sleep over at our house. (I can still hear the laughing from the tickles and pillow fights). He, Bonnie and Chris went to our annual family reunions at the cyclones game. We trick-or-treated together. Elijah and Zander learned to ride their bikes together two years ago. His friendship, example and overall influence on our son are immeasurable and will forever be treasured. Elijah deeply misses his friend and only wishes he had the power to rewind time. He keeps saying, "It just doesn't feel right. I thought Zander and I were gonna grow up together."

Zander touched us all with his adult-sized wit, passion, sensitivity, smile and piercing sweet eyes. We thank Bonnie and Chris for sharing him with us for now we have wonderful memories of this amazing little person. We miss and love him dearly. Our hearts are broken because we can no longer create new memories with Zander, but our souls are lifted because we had the opportunity to have created memories to which we can forever hold onto.

Tracy & Scott Cantone

"Zander by Sharon Gordon (Mollie's Mom)" by Chris Toulouse (84) (09/26/2008 01:16:27 EDT) We moved to Brooklyn in July 2005. Our daughter Mollie started Kindergarten that September, and she and Zander were in the same class; matter of fact, they sat at the same table. They soon became friends, and found they had similar interests: music, books, board games, theatre…they understood each other. Kindred spirits.

Randy and I were so pleased to be part of a real community – kids getting together after school, parents helping each other out if someone was stuck in Manhattan when it was time for school pick up (!). I didn't see that kind of interaction and support in the suburbs, since you had to go everywhere by car. People were friendly; but you'd wave to folks from your car, and the joy of getting to talk and laugh together was much harder to find. You really had to schedule it.

Bonnie and Chris opened their home to so many of us – for play dates, dinners, and those great Kindergarten class parties in their courtyard! If there was time for a little get-together before Zander and Mollie's piano lessons, we'd do it. Bonnie would offer to go to their place, to give the kids a quick snack, but more importantly, to give them time to "frolic" in the courtyard! Time to frolic was always Bonnie's first priority for the kids after a day at school.

When I think of Zander's joy and zest for everyday life, I think a lot of that joy came from Bonnie and Chris wanting him to have time to frolic. To enjoy being a kid. To take advantage of a beautiful summer day – to grab the sketch books and head to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden or Prospect Park. Or just round up kids and parents after school and head over to Cabrini Park so the kids could have some fun.

Randy, Mollie and I have so many wonderful memories – including birthdays, Trick or Treating, concerts, Shakespeare plays (especially the production of The Tempest where Zander and Mollie participated onstage!), going to see Metropolitan Opera HD broadcasts, and the Met Opera concert in Prospect Park this past June. Going to brunch at Jazz Standard. I loved watching Zander's joy in playing the piano and his smooth dance moves, too.

Our most recent outing was to Governors Island, to watch an outdoor performance of Twelfth Night. We had the good fortune to meet up with Wil, Neddi and Rebekkah, and we all enjoyed a wonderful afternoon. At Rebekkah's suggestion, she, Mollie and Zander went up to the actors after the show and got their autographs. I think the actors were truly inspired by these 3 young people who were so excited about the play. I know the actors thanked them for being such a great audience. Miniature golf was on the menu for post-play frolicking, and then we were back to the neighborhood. As Wil said to us, it was a perfect day. I will always cherish that day.

There is so much in my daily life that makes me think of Zander. I remember walking to Borough Hall together, and I asked him what his favorite way was to walk from his home to the subway station. Of course, he had an immediate reply! And ever since then, I take 'Zander's Way' to the subway. If Mollie asks me which way we're going to walk, she usually knows the answer!

One last story for now: coming back from Melody Lanes, with Mollie, Zander and Lila (Warren & Alison's daughter) in the back seat of our car. The 3 kids were chatting away, but then I noticed that the girls were giggling and having a grand time – but Zander was all of a sudden very quiet. When there was a lull in the giggle-fest, we heard his resonant voice: "GOOD GRIEF!" He had had enough of all of the girl power! I told Bonnie and Chris later that evening, and we had a good laugh about it. Zander had so many girls in his life; sometimes it seemed like he didn't know what to do with them all. Chris would say, "Chum, when you're a little older, you'll realize what a lucky guy you are!"

Zander, we are the lucky ones. We miss you terribly, but we celebrate the way you lived your joy-filled life.

"Zander by Jane (Mei Li's Mom)" by Chris Toulouse (84) (10/12/2008 23:40:24 EDT) We will always remember your wonderful boy. Zander was an exceptional child in so many ways.

As I think about you as a family, I will remember the joy you always seemed to express in each other's company whether it was a simple drop-off at school or running into you on the subway at Borough Hall.

"Zander by Debra Doogan (Julius's Mom) reposted" by Chris Toulouse (84) (10/14/2008 09:00:38 EDT) In away we've known Zander since before he was born. We met Bonnie and Chris in our birthing class. They were great parents from the start. Bonnie and Chris knew they were having a boy, had already picked his name out, and were getting ready for the big day. Bonnie knew that we needed to join a "Mommy and Infant" group and then she started one on her own. We each met different people who we invited to come along and before you know it, we were meeting once a week to have a drink at P.J. Hanley's to share our new adventure into parenthood.

Needless to say, we spent a lot of time with Bonnie, Chris and Zander during the boys' first two years. Zander was always very smart, and one of the most advanced babies I've ever seen. I remember that he was standing up, holding the back of the chair and smiling, pumping his legs when he was only four months old. Most other kids couldn't even pull themselves to sit up and had to sit with their parent's support. Zander was the first to hit almost every single milestone… I can clearly see Zander pulling Bonnie around when he learned to walk at eleven months, although he was afraid to let go of her hand. He was one of the first to talk, and definitely the first to read. When he was only eighteen months old, he was learning to read and write letters. Some kids had barely begun taking steps yet. Others had the command of a dozen words. It was amazing. Once Zander began learning, he could not stop advancing. He started reading books at a remarkably young age. I remember times where he'd write out words with chalk in the playground, while the other kids were playing.

Having friends like Bonnie and Chris really was great. We learned about parenthood together. Bonnie and Chris always had a plan of activities or things to do with Zander, and they always invited many friends to come along. There were many trips to the playgrounds, to the zoos, the Aquarium, Prospect Park playground, music classes with Audra, art classes, Tot-Shabbat, Library story time, the Red Hook pool and the Douglass Street pool.

Zander was always very gentle and kind, wonderful attributes. He was the kind of boy every parent wanted their child to play with and be friends with. When another little boy or girl would take a toy from Zander, he would not get upset. He would simply pick up another toy and continue playing. Julius always liked playing with Zander. When Julius about a year and a half, we moved to Park Slope, but we continued to see Bonnie, Chris and Zander regularly. There were many play dates, Christmas parties, Rosh Hashanah dinners, birthday parties, studio tours and gatherings in their courtyard. Julius and Zander celebrated their first four birthdays together.

Bonnie and Chris were great parents. They encouraged Zander to try new things and explore his interests. He loved music and they took him to many kinds of music classes over the years. He was very good natured and open to new experiences. I remember many times when a group would gather to do meet at the zoo, the pool, or Prospect Park, and then Bonnie or Chris would leave with Zander to go to another class or activity. Zander never put up a fuss, but was open to the next experience.

Zander had many interests. He was extremely smart and loved to read. He loved the subway, and with his encyclopedic knowledge of it, you could questions him about where to switch or pick up a train, and he always knew.

Some of our most favorite memories of Zander were swimming at the Douglass Street pool during the summer of 2007. The "big kids" (Zander, Julius, Rebekkah and Luci) held hands and would run and jump into the pool and then swim back and do it over and over again. Each time the kids laughed and giggled more. All the kids had a great time together. I also had a chance to talk to Zander during these swim-outings about what books he was currently reading. He introduced us to the Geronimo Stilton series, which became one of Julius' favorite. They both also liked Encyclopedia Brown series and talked about them together.

Julius always enjoyed getting together with Zander. He said that Zander was always nice to him and never did mean things. Although sometimes a few months would go by without seeing each other, whenever they would get together, they'd fall back in as if it were yesterday. In many ways, Julius regarded Zander like a cousin. When Julius was turning eight, he made a point of inviting Zander to his birthday party. He was having a magician and he wanted Zander to be there. They had a really nice time together.

Another special memory for us was in May, 2008 when Bonnie, Chris, Zander, Will, Neddi, Rebekkah, Michele, Tommy, Maeve, Kieran, and us spend Memorial Day together in the courtyard having a barbeque. The kids played hide and seek for a while, and then Will took charge of leading the kids in a really fun game of bocce. Everyone enjoyed themselves immensely. We assumed that we would get together over the summer, but unfortunately, we did not, and our hearts are heavy with regret.

Even though we are not relatives, we've always regarded Bonnie, Chris and Zander as a part of our extended family. We will miss Zander terribly, but we will always cherish our memories of the wonderful times we spent together.

The following poem reminded me of Zander and I hope it brings some comfort to Bonnie and Chris.

Those who share their laughter
And their smiles with everyone,
And help others feel
A sense of their own worth
Are God's own special angels
Who may pass this way but once,
But who truly make a difference
Here on earth. - Emily Matthew.